Author Conversations with Chris Dabbs - Sir Tim Melville-Ross
Sir Tim Melville-Ross joins Chris Dabbs on Author Conversations to discuss Tough Choices, an extraordinary first novel inspired by the lives of his father and grandfather.
Spanning the late 19th and 20th centuries, the story moves from the Amazon jungle to early aviation, submarine warfare, espionage and the emotional aftermath of war. In this conversation, Sir Tim reflects on family history, courage, trauma, ambition and the difficult decisions that shape generations.
In this episode:
• Why Tough Choices began as a family record
• The real-life story of a 12-year-old running away to the Amazon
• Early aviation, war and survival
• Submarine command at just 23
• The psychological toll of conflict and espionage
• Why the women in the story became central to the book
• Whether family history shapes the next generation
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:43 Why Sir Tim wrote Tough Choices
03:37 Family letters and real source material
04:35 A young submariner in wartime
06:30 Fiction rooted in extraordinary truth
08:12 Running away to the Amazon at 12
12:38 Early aviation and a devastating crash
16:31 From grandfather to father
20:58 War, espionage and psychological trauma
25:42 The women who held the family together
27:11 How one generation shapes the next
32:13 Is the book hopeful?
34:24 Lessons for modern readers
38:25 Will Sir Tim write another book?
40:57 Final thoughts
Listen on your favourite podcast platform:
Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/48XhkPq
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6oflXd2H8V0akKuPttSUfb
iHeartRadio: https://iheart.com/podcast/326179226
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/cc98bcc7-d3d9-4a55-8fba-fb23cbbd83dd
Subscribe for more in-depth author interviews and conversations.
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/author-conversations-with-chris-dabbs--6905413/support.
Author Conversations with Chris Dabbs is a podcast exploring the ideas behind books.
Each episode features a long-form conversation with an author about their work, research and the questions that shaped their writing.
Watch the full video interviews on YouTube and follow the podcast for future conversations.
Hosted by Chris Dabbs – broadcast journalist and podcast consultant.
www.chrisdabbs.online
Now your'e able to actively support Author Conversations and have an ad free experience - find out more here with supporting starting from only €2
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,580
Hello and welcome to author conversations. I'm Chris Stabs and today I have the pleasure
2
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:19,580
of being joined by Sir Tim Melville Ross, who's a former director general of the Institute
3
00:00:19,580 --> 00:00:25,860
of Directors and an experienced business leader, who basically has spent many years advising
4
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:32,080
organisations on leadership, strategy and decision making as well. He's now the author of
5
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:38,480
Tough Choices, an extraordinary first novel inspired by the real lives of his father and
6
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:44,320
grandfather, and it spans the end of the 19th century through most of the 20th century
7
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:50,880
as well. The book follows a story of adventure, conflict and resilience, and from the Amazon
8
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:56,240
jungle to early aviation even, we've even got submarine warfare in there and even the
9
00:00:56,240 --> 00:01:03,960
world of espionage. It is a powerful exploration of family, ambition and the difficult tensions
10
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:09,120
and decisions that shape our lives. This is going to be a good one so make sure you listen
11
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:14,080
to everybody. So Tim, welcome and thank you for joining me.
12
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,280
Thank you for the invitation Chris, it's very good to be talking to you.
13
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:22,160
Fantastic, really looking forward to getting into not only your family history but also,
14
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:28,160
well really, you know, the last 20th century and a latter half of the 19th century pivotal
15
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:33,520
times. We're talking about armed conflicts, we're talking about service to country and
16
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:37,080
we're talking about all of these things so it's going to be really interesting. I mean,
17
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:42,920
this is your first novel. Yet it tells this extraordinary story, this multiple generation
18
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:48,800
story. It's like you could have written a television series or something along those lines,
19
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:53,240
you know, multi-series, multi-everything. But let's start right at the beginning. We're
20
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,520
inspired you then to write tough choices.
21
00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:02,600
Well originally it was intended not as a book but really just as a recollection of my
22
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:09,120
experience with my grandfather and my father beefed up with quite a lot of materials I had.
23
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:13,840
And I was very well aware that my children knew very little of this and so my ambition was
24
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:22,400
to get as far as just writing about it for their benefit. And it kind of grew from that
25
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:27,800
through lockdown where I had plenty of time like so many people did and I thought, well,
26
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:34,720
why don't I make a real job of this? And the more I wrote the longer the thing got and
27
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:43,520
I realized that it was becoming unreadable because there was a lot of logic missing from the
28
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:49,520
things I actually knew about. So my wife had the brainwave of saying, well, why don't you
29
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:55,640
make up what happened between this event and that event and turn it into a novel, which
30
00:02:55,640 --> 00:03:01,800
is what it now is. But it's built on the foundation of a great many very exciting events, terrifying
31
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:10,680
events in many cases. And where I was ignorant of how this happened at what stage in their
32
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:16,600
lives had happened, for example, I just make it up. So for that reason their names had changed
33
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:23,720
and even I am Mike towards the end of the book rather than Tim just to hide my own identity.
34
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,200
So that was the origin and then various people looked at it and said they thought, well,
35
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:33,800
this is looking as though it might become a publisher book. So I was given a lot of help by various
36
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,800
editors and the result is what you see before you.
37
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:42,200
Well, fantastic. There you are then. So that's great. So it's a fictional story that based
38
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:48,560
on, you know, recollections from your family that you're passing. Very much so. We just
39
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:55,520
want to example that. My father, I discovered in an attic, had written vast numbers of letters
40
00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:03,840
before, during and after the Second World War to his parents. And this was an absolute treasure
41
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:09,160
trail of information about him and what he'd done. Obviously limited to some extent during
42
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:16,720
more time by censorship. But nevertheless, these letters have been there for years and years
43
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:21,160
and years. I took my pain stakingly and read through them. Some of them pretty dull to be
44
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:28,320
perfectly honest, but some of them very exciting. So that was an example of the kind of real material
45
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:35,680
that I had to write the book. So your father wrote the letters or he was even involved in just
46
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,240
to let everyone know. He was involved in this kind of military service and things like that.
47
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,760
But in the interwar years, I guess, right? So he could write freely at that stage.
48
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:54,040
Well, before the Second World War, he was at school. He was to give you some idea of how young he was.
49
00:04:54,040 --> 00:05:04,880
He got his first command as a sub-mariner in 1943 at which point he was 23 years old in command
50
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:10,880
of a submarine. It's terrifying. There's such young people with carrying such a burden in such
51
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:16,840
difficult conditions, but others were being killed. So he was advanced really rather quickly.
52
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:21,960
I think Adams didn't. Yeah, that much like the RAF, I guess.
53
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:30,360
Very much so. Yes. But of course, being a sub-mariner, there's a bigger weight and a bigger responsibility
54
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:37,040
involved because of the men under their command. Absolutely. I mean, thinking back to when I was 23,
55
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:44,560
I mean, no way could I have even, I don't know, run a parable, done anything, helpful to humanity.
56
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:51,360
It is remarkable. And it was part of the problem that he had to cope with later in life when he went
57
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:56,800
with the hell of being a sub-mariner and then the hell of having, as you've indicated, a bit of a
58
00:05:56,800 --> 00:06:07,240
spying career as well. Wow, gosh, that is amazing. And that was before, sorry, in 1943, right? So that's clearly
59
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:15,160
during. Wow, is all I can say. I just can't, I can't imagine. The mazes me, the pseudo-psychometric
60
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:20,440
testing that must have gone through at that time rather than just putting somebody else in their shoes
61
00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:29,080
because you can't read it. Absolutely. And probably promotions based on really very little evidence of
62
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:34,360
the ability of the individuals to cope with those sort of pressures. I think that's probably about
63
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:42,760
it actually. Very much so. You just get in there and make a break. Wow. Okay, so I mean, you know,
64
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:47,960
because of these sorts of things, you know, some readers may feel that the story feels almost
65
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:53,160
unbelievable, I guess, right? But because it's not though, because it's rooted in these real events,
66
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:58,680
you know, I mean, okay, let's start by looking at characters who may or may not have been renamed,
67
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:05,480
right? So what drew you most strongly then to Todd and Scott Peterson? How did that work?
68
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:18,360
Well, the the the the the the the toad name was was was was for real. That that was the nickname of of my grandfather. And the names, frankly, I just
69
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:35,440
plucked out of the year. The Peterson name is some something I wasn't trying to imply any kind of Scandinavian link, although it sounds like it. Just literally imagination. So I'd started the process of telling things in my stories, which were not
70
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:53,200
actually true. So why not just dream of an interesting sounding name, which is relatively common. Otherwise, if you come up with something very bizarre, you end up with people chasing around the same way. I can't come across anybody else called this or that.
71
00:07:53,200 --> 00:08:03,040
Well, that's true. And I think that told Pete. Yes, it has got a Scandinavian ring to it, hasn't it? Yes. Yes. Well, Pete has been in particular.
72
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:20,000
Yeah, you can't help but think about that. So actually, I think adds to adds to something. Well, it adds something I should say. I don't know, some some intrigue. I'm not sure. I mean, you know, but Todd's story, we're talking about it begins dramatically running away from home.
73
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:30,400
Yeah, eventually traveling into the Amazon jungle as a young teenager as well, which is just something else. I mean, why do you think that that happened with Todd?
74
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:45,040
Is it what? Well, I mean, it's an illustration of the point you were making that some of what's in the book is almost unbelievable, but I have the evidence that he did indeed run away from home at the age of 12.
75
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:55,200
And the reason for that was because, first of all, his mother had died in a swimming accident when he was three. And his father, my grandfather,
76
00:08:55,200 --> 00:09:08,640
was no, my great grandfather, a bigger button was away for the entire virtually the entire year. He'd spent 10 or 11 months in the in the Amazon jungle.
77
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:19,360
He was an anthropologist. And so he was just not around at home. So my grandfather was looked after by an aunt together with some of her slightly older children.
78
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:35,200
He absolutely hated it and didn't like school, didn't like restrictions, the absence of his father. And so over several years, he cooked up this plan through, you know, before his teens for goodness sake.
79
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:46,240
And carefully worked out how to get himself unbelievably from where he was to where his father was, which led to these extraordinary train journeys,
80
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:54,000
just jumping on trains and hiding on them, working out how to get from one part of the United Southern United States to the next,
81
00:09:54,000 --> 00:10:04,560
with New Orleans being his target. Why New Orleans? Because he knew that from there he could get, he could get on to whether he would be able to,
82
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:13,600
because he didn't have the money, get on to a ship from New Orleans to Manaus on the Amazon.
83
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:27,760
So sure enough, after many adventures which were in the book, he got himself to New Orleans, got himself a job as a cabin boy on this ship and was duly delivered to Manaus.
84
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:38,640
And the very sensible, simple ingenuity that got him to the next stage was that he'd taken with him a photograph of his father.
85
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:51,920
So once he'd left Manaus and was heading in the direction of the first Indian or the other Indian, or the other Indian, some kind or a village or just people wandering around,
86
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:58,800
he started showing people this photograph and it was often recognized because his father had been around these people.
87
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:06,400
And slowly but surely a kind of respect grew around the boy. I mean, he didn't know this himself.
88
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:14,480
He just found that people were being friendly and taking him by the hand and putting him in a canoe and people were taking him in the canoe to the next village and so on.
89
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:20,960
And sure enough, he gets to the village where his father is working at that stage.
90
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:31,760
And when his father saw him, he was horrified. Where on earth did you come from to which one word answer was home?
91
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:41,760
Wow. He was very worried about this and wanted to send him straight back for educating and all the rest of it. He simply wouldn't have it.
92
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,720
So they stayed together for six years.
93
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:45,680
Six years?
94
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,680
In Junkal, yeah.
95
00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:58,480
Well, that must have been obviously nice for Todd. I can imagine the shock if my son had turned up at 12 years old and most of them would have spent other times there.
96
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,920
Well, actually, I can't imagine it. It must have been quite amazing.
97
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:09,920
Do you know what? I think that your father probably said that on the selection board for his submariner position.
98
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,440
And always passed on. He's definitely got that gene.
99
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:17,120
I'm sure that was one of the stories he told.
100
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,600
That would make sense.
101
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,440
It would absolutely.
102
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:26,080
Oh gosh. Well, well, that's what they were. There's a film in itself.
103
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,640
So we need to sort the right answer to.
104
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,440
Yeah.
105
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:35,680
Okay. So his life then moves through exploration and early aviation as well.
106
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,480
Yes.
107
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:42,000
Of course, your family was involved in all of these ground breaking times, right?
108
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,560
So early aviation, eventually a devastating air crash.
109
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,000
That's right. That's right.
110
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,600
Tell us about that.
111
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:56,720
Right. Well, he, after his father died, or I should say more directly, it was killed.
112
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,840
They were two of them were together in Columbia by then.
113
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:06,000
And confronted a set of hostile indigenous people.
114
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,640
And his father was killed in front of his eyes.
115
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,800
And he managed to get away from them.
116
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:18,160
So he then had to, he returned to San Francisco and lived through the San Francisco earthquake, for example.
117
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:26,080
But went to university, studied anthropology, surprised, surprised, and found himself giving lectures.
118
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:30,400
But also engineering and mathematics, which he was very strong.
119
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:38,080
And he became intrigued by what he'd heard about the Wright brothers, who, as you know, flew the first part of the airplane.
120
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:47,120
So he got in touch with them and with their very, very considerable help, made his way through the process of producing his own airplane.
121
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:51,440
Lots of details of how exactly how he did that.
122
00:13:51,440 --> 00:14:04,720
And in those days, as the second decade of the 20th century, loomed with everlasting prospect of war,
123
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:16,400
the expertise in aviation developed most in France, rather than the United States or all this country.
124
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,200
So he got himself two France.
125
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:31,680
And just before the war started, he'd started manufacturing his own plane and got to the point where it was made and flyable.
126
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:40,640
And he decided, as the war was literally on the point of breaking.
127
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,440
There was talk of an invasion from Germany and France.
128
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:50,240
So he thought, well, I think I'm better off out of France. So he flew across the channel in his airplane and landed.
129
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:56,960
And there's quite a lot of story associated with how he managed to get himself involved with the British forces,
130
00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:04,240
because he was an American and therefore not eligible to join the Royal Air Force or the Royal Flying Corps.
131
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,600
It was there.
132
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:13,920
So he became a test pilot for the nascent air force.
133
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:24,080
And it was one of these aircraft that he was testing, that he misjudged and crashed and piled the thing into the top of a tree,
134
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:29,520
fell from it with bits of the plane, engine, the whole bit crashing down beside him.
135
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:37,440
It was very, very severely injured and spent most of the rest of the war as it was only just begun.
136
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:43,600
In a hospital very close to the Salisbury plane, where all his flying was taking place,
137
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:51,120
and was almost literally nursed back to life by this amazing nurse who became his wife.
138
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,600
And who is one of the key characters in this.
139
00:15:53,600 --> 00:16:04,480
As is my father's subsequent second wife, my stepmother, who also put him back to life for reasons we might go on to.
140
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:15,360
And from then on, my grandfather's career was purely as too strong, largely academic,
141
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,360
because of his disability.
142
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:22,320
You know, he was certainly not fit for active service in any country.
143
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:33,040
And towards the, as the second world war was looming, he became involved, I think, not to any very great degree,
144
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:40,000
but in the early days of the development of the Manhattan Project, the development of the Atom Bonn.
145
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:46,800
And it was around that time clearly that the relationship between him and my father,
146
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:51,920
who was reaching adulthood and wondering what the hell to do with himself, as war was about to break.
147
00:16:51,920 --> 00:17:01,920
And then the story moves on from that really quite interesting end to my grandfather's life,
148
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,520
as well as the earlier parts.
149
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:12,640
And my father takes over all the while desperate to persuade his father that he's got the sort of guts
150
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:18,560
that his father reckoned he did not have. There was this real hostility between them having got
151
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:23,680
gone on very well when he was a boy. When he became a man, I think my grandfather thought he was just
152
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:29,680
wasn't up to doing anything very brave. So my father said, well, to hell with that, I'll do something
153
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,400
bloody brave and I'll go and not only join the Navy, but get into submarines.
154
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:40,400
The thought of actually being in a submarine itself, let alone a wartime, just horrifies me.
155
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,880
I do not know. So that was the transition.
156
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,680
I'm sorry, go ahead continue.
157
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:52,640
No, no, that was the transition from the story being about my grandfather to being about my father.
158
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:59,440
I'm amazed at your father. So I laugh because I'm so amazed.
159
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,200
You know, it's like, I'm going to prove you wrong kind of thing.
160
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,720
He doesn't do something as mad as that.
161
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:12,800
But then again, if his father had gone and done, you know, to the Amazon at 12,
162
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:19,360
you can, yeah, well, you know, if I did this son, how come you're not right? I kind of see that.
163
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,160
You could see it.
164
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:27,280
So Todd basically, physically disabled, but it's nurse back to life, as you say,
165
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,440
and ends up marrying the nurse.
166
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,280
Oh, doc, the nurse, I presume.
167
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,760
Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, lovely Navy.
168
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,120
Wow. So that's your grand mother.
169
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:38,160
Yeah, yeah.
170
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,160
That's my grandmother.
171
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:40,960
Yeah.
172
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,520
So, okay, the Manhattan Project as well, I mean.
173
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,880
They, you know, say, you're your family.
174
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:53,680
How did he be, I need to know about this because if he's an anthropologist and then a test pilot,
175
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:59,440
how did he become, or do you know what his connection was to the Manhattan Project?
176
00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:05,760
I don't. I don't. And I thought it was sufficiently complicated not to try and make it up to any great degree.
177
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:10,240
But I do know that he, the evident, the sort of evidence I have, our stories of
178
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:17,520
motorcyclists turning up at his house at dead of night and handing over briefcases and exchanging
179
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:24,720
obviously papers. And so I have some of those papers still, which he'd obviously been working on,
180
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:35,200
but not sent off with the weekly introduction to his participation in the Manhattan Project.
181
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:42,880
That the reason he was part of one of the reasons is because he was still an American citizen,
182
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,720
or had been an American citizen living in the United Kingdom by now.
183
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:53,840
And I think the, the intellects in the United States were searching around as,
184
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:59,600
brought as widely as they could. And he was a man who wasn't, had been an American citizen. He
185
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:07,120
changed his nationality, but also had a very considerable academic reputation, which was built up during
186
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:12,640
that period of his, his disability, because he was able to write and corresponded endlessly,
187
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:18,080
with various, various academic organizations that were
188
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:23,760
looped into the kind of science that led to the Manhattan Project.
189
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:29,840
So he pivoted as well in academia, so not just for an anthropologist.
190
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,040
Yeah, oh yeah, very much so. Yes, yes, it's that.
191
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:38,880
Okay, I understand it's incredible. Absolutely amazing. I can see why, you know,
192
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:44,240
you wanted to write about this, to pass this sort of information on, you know, down the lines and to
193
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,520
leave a legacy of the Manhattan Center. Yeah, absolutely.
194
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,920
Especially with Scott growing up in that shadow of his brother as well.
195
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:57,120
I'm hoping that he could somehow shine by comparison with it, which I think he did.
196
00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:03,280
Well, totally, totally. So let's talk about then the psychological toll that your book talks about
197
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:08,960
really, you know, the war and the espionage as well. You know, you could say that obviously your
198
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:14,960
grandfather was well respected by the Americans, because I was going to say, surely they would have kept
199
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:21,760
that very, very much American as it were. I think quite famously it was pretty American.
200
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,520
Yes, yes, and so he was regarded for this purpose as an American.
201
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:31,840
Yeah, yeah, amazing. Okay, so the psychological toll then of war and espionage, I mean,
202
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:38,000
how important was it for you to sort of show the emotional consequences of those experiences
203
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:43,520
on your family? Well, I guess especially Todd. Yes, well, sorry, Scott.
204
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:51,120
Scott, yes, no, Scott that I was most anxious to think about in my own mind, because I saw very
205
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:58,880
little of my father. He was partly because of the Navy to begin with, but then being a bit of a
206
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:04,960
wandering individual looking for employment in the in the in the corporate sector, he was a
207
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:15,440
way a great deal. And he found it very difficult to cope with his demons having, I think, probably
208
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:22,160
rather unwisely married my mother before the end of the Second World War. So, you know, he was married
209
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:32,240
to her roughly the same time he became a commander of a submarine, so 23. And I mean, bluntly, they just
210
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:38,400
didn't get on. My mother, who I loved dearly because she was the only parent I had around for
211
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:46,960
most of my childhood, just couldn't kind of get the tension that was inside his mind and the complexity
212
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:53,840
of what he was going through, which of course is where my stepmother came in because she met up with
213
00:22:53,840 --> 00:23:02,880
my father, I describe how in the book, and they've clearly gone on extremely well. She was an
214
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:13,280
American citizen herself and she essentially held him together for the rest of his life. He became very
215
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:20,640
very withdrawn. He was an author later in life and published several books which were based on his
216
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:26,240
spying experience and his submarine experiences. But I had quite a lot of time, you were talking about
217
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:31,440
my being involved with the Institute of Directors, which involved a great deal of communication on my part.
218
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:38,960
And so at that time, I was trying to persuade my father to let me make use of my connections in the
219
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:47,920
media to get him on radio or on television. And he simply wouldn't do it. His, his, his, his
220
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:54,000
symbols, very succinct statement was, I wrote the bloody thing, someone else can write, can, can sell it.
221
00:23:54,000 --> 00:24:00,160
Which says a little bit of something about, you know, he wanted to get this down, but then other people
222
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:08,880
can make what they want to make of it. But so he was under huge, huge pressure all the time from this.
223
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:16,160
I haven't said very much about his time as a spy, a very short period of time as a spy, but where he's
224
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:23,440
so nearly got himself killed. I'm very lucky to come out of that alive. And so the demons were with him
225
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:30,880
throughout his life. There was one rare occasion when I was staying with him because I didn't see
226
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:39,120
very much of him, but this was when I was an adult. And in the middle of the night, I, I got out,
227
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:46,240
walked across the landing to the bathroom. And my father's bedroom door exploded and he came
228
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:53,280
crashing out of it, looking all set for some contest or fight with whoever it was who was
229
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:59,280
creeping around on the landing. And he stopped and looked at me very cross the ends of it. God's sake,
230
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:05,680
if you have to get up in the middle of the night, make more noise because the fact that I had crept around
231
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:11,680
made him think that it was that by definition to him was danger if there was someone creeping around
232
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:21,600
in the house. So anyway, very sadly my stepmother died before he did and the result of that was very
233
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:28,560
shortly afterwards. He took his own life which underlines dramatically just how central she was to his
234
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:34,240
survival and you know his reasonable success or certainly success as an author, for example,
235
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:43,280
never mind his corporate success. Quite a story. Yeah, that, you know, amazing, amazing. I keep
236
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:49,440
I'm going to count how many times I've said amazing to you because I just think it is. I mean,
237
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:54,880
and it's true though, you know, our spouses really make a difference to our lives, don't they?
238
00:25:54,880 --> 00:26:03,360
Well, they do. They do and my wife was very anxious that I had said so little about either of the
239
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:10,560
either of the wives in earlier drafts and she was so right because the depths of the psychology
240
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:17,200
that was at work and I was trying to describe very much depended in both cases what those lovely women
241
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:25,600
did and I hope it comes through interestingly in the book. No, exactly, I'm pretty sure that it does.
242
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:36,240
Okay, this is the whole point though of a strong theme in your book. Okay, you know, it's that
243
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:42,960
influence of relationships as there's we've just been discussing, you know, play by Maria and
244
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:49,280
Marcelo, which is quite, which is interesting. I'm glad that we've been able to look at that.
245
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:55,200
I mean, so if you think about the the way that you've tackled the trauma, the ambition,
246
00:26:55,200 --> 00:27:00,880
and the way that this is multi-generational, do you think that the experiences of one generation
247
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:08,000
inevitably shape the next? Then now I think so because if you worked, you went to the
248
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:12,640
Institute of Directors, I don't know obviously much about your career, but if your father went into
249
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:18,800
a corporate life, which I imagine was working for. So not a corporation, so I guess around.
250
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:25,120
An all company, yeah, BP, yeah. BP, right. And then you followed kind of the same sort of
251
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:30,000
part and yet he followed the same sort of part, there's no, what do you think about that? Do you think
252
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:37,280
it's inevitable that we do that? I suppose it is. I wouldn't for one moment claim that I have done
253
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:42,160
anything remotely corresponding to what my father and grandfather managed to achieve in terms of
254
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:50,960
their courage more than anything. And I've probably had the most successful career of the three of us,
255
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:58,640
but then I had peacetime and I had lots of opportunity. But there's no doubt that my father's personality
256
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:05,680
drove me on. For all that I saw, so little of him, I respected hugely what he'd achieved.
257
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:12,960
And so there was always that sense, but I think my father would be quite pleased if he knew that I
258
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:20,240
had become the chief executive of this or that or whatever it might be. So yes, one thing that's
259
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:28,480
a little bit sad though is that having written the book and thought a great deal about what must have
260
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:36,240
been in the minds of my mother, my stepmother, my father. It's made me examine in more detail
261
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:44,160
what my childhood was like. And at the time it was just, it was very tedious, but I had nothing to
262
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:52,080
compare it with. I had a brother who was killed when we were in Poland. My father was a naval attache
263
00:28:52,080 --> 00:29:00,480
in Warsaw at the time. And so as a family we were over there. To this is interesting as an aside
264
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:06,960
in relation to my father's state of mind. I was born, my little brother Richard was two and a half,
265
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:14,880
and we were playing in an upstairs room. And he clamoured onto a window, cell and fell onto a concrete
266
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:22,880
floor underneath. My mother was in the kitchen, so didn't see it happen. My father was away.
267
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:33,040
And I think there was a reinforcing of the tension between my parents that my mother hadn't
268
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:42,480
taken enough care and so on. But also this ghastly sense of guilt that added to the tension on my father,
269
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:51,680
because for years he believed that his youngest son, my little brother, had been killed by the
270
00:29:51,680 --> 00:30:01,280
Polish secret police because of the position that he held. And so 30 years later at some family event
271
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:08,480
where one talks about my step sister had had a child who died at a very young age. So we were talking
272
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:15,600
about this kind of thing. And I was telling her what I had seen when my little brother died.
273
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:22,160
And my father was sitting just behind me and I hadn't realized he was listening and he spun around and
274
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:26,640
he grabbed my elbow and he said, "What did you say?" I said, "Well, I've just described how Richard
275
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:33,360
died." And he had had no ideas. So all those years he had carried this guilt unnecessarily.
276
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:39,440
Oh my gosh. That looks extraordinary. Oh, that is... Yes, I'm very sad.
277
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:51,440
Oh, it's so sad. How? How? Oh, no. Oh, that is awful. That's a terrible thing. But it happens, I guess.
278
00:30:51,440 --> 00:31:01,280
It does. What a thought. Oh gosh. But if I can just say just one more thing, this is going to sound
279
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:07,760
very selfish, but I might as well be honest. I had no means of comparing my childhood with
280
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:13,120
many of what else is. But I suppose over the years, and particularly when I got around a writing
281
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:21,520
all of this, it dawned on me that I had a pretty crap bloody upbringing. And I began to resent that,
282
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:27,360
which is ridiculous, because it was a long time ago. And B, I had had more success than most people
283
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:34,000
could possibly wish for. But nevertheless, it kind of came back and nought away at me. I suppose
284
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:38,720
more than anything because of Richard's death and my feeling, could I have done something about it?
285
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:45,040
Answer at that age? No, but nevertheless, it was still in my mind. I suppose we were massively
286
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:51,280
over-sensitive family. That's the problem. Wow. Okay. But I don't think you could say that, but I
287
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:58,960
understand what you mean. I think that your family has had all of these experiences and all of these
288
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:06,080
occurrences, if you like. And it's interesting. And I should be thinking of your father for a long time
289
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:15,440
after this after the power chat finishes, because that is a sad thing to hear. And I think this
290
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:19,520
is it, isn't it? You know, readers are often describing the book as both sort of a venture story
291
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:26,560
and a cautionary tale. But really, considering all of these things that happened, that would basically
292
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:32,880
true, true stories. Do you see the book as being ultimately hopeful or not?
293
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:41,760
Oh gosh. Well, one of the reasons for writing it was to try and draw attention to the horrors of all,
294
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:47,120
essentially. So in that sense, I suppose it was useful, but I didn't seem to have had much success
295
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:52,480
in influencing the way humanity behaves in that context, nor have many other authors trying to do
296
00:32:52,480 --> 00:33:00,640
the same thing. So it's been very difficult defining, apart from the rationale of wanting to produce
297
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:06,240
something to get this off my chest to make quite sure my children who know where I've made things up
298
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:18,960
and where I haven't. That was all fine. But to say that I had a clear target in mind, is illustrated,
299
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:25,600
is the fact that I did not, is illustrated by the difficulty I had in describing which or
300
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:30,880
the book should settle in, settle in. Is it historical? Is it drama? Is it war? Is it this?
301
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:37,040
It's a whole lot of things. So maybe there's almost too much in the book that I didn't.
302
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:42,080
Well, I think considering that some of your readers are saying that the book's difficult to put down,
303
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,720
you know, I think that you've got some good momentum going in there really. I don't think you've
304
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:52,400
written too much. I understand what you mean about the genre. That can be difficult, but
305
00:33:52,400 --> 00:34:00,080
you know, I still think that it's, I won't use amazing war. No, no, no, exactly.
306
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:07,600
And I love the way that you are doing this in terms of really opening up your family history
307
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:13,200
to future generations as well. And I think that makes a big difference too. But listen to Tim,
308
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:19,440
we are running out of time, unfortunately, which is really, really upsetting. It's always a way.
309
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:26,160
I've talked to fascinating authors often. And we just keep running out of time. But, you know,
310
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:30,880
I've really enjoyed our time talking, but there's a couple of other questions I need to ask.
311
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:37,840
Please do. Okay. So you want to, you say that you'd like to influence the way that people behave
312
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:46,720
nowadays or modern readers, you know, I mean, how in what ways, just by pointing, well, I say just,
313
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:53,280
by pointing out, you know, the follies of war and how that can actually affect somebody
314
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:58,560
psychologically, or what other ways would you like this to be able to be a lesson, I guess?
315
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:07,040
I think quite apart from the gender side of it, the importance of keeping women very much in mind
316
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:16,160
through all of these dramas and just as much today as in the past. But I suppose it's as much as
317
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:24,400
anything to focus on what it was that drove these two men forward. And I suppose in a different way,
318
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:31,200
drove me forward. And there's one word which did that and does that. And that's confidence.
319
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:38,640
And, you know, my father went through a period certainly towards the end of the time he was going
320
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:46,400
through all of this of losing confidence. But then I think every drop of confidence he ever had
321
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:53,920
had been used up if there is such a thing that's likely to happen. But I suppose it's a,
322
00:35:53,920 --> 00:36:02,480
it's a call to people to realise that they may run into real problems that go going to be difficult to,
323
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:10,880
to solve. So, A, have the confidence to cope with them and B, have the imagination to find ways
324
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:20,080
of getting out of them. Example, my father working out the way in which he could, he was
325
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:25,440
the navigating officer in this instance, how he could navigate the submarine that was underwater
326
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:33,040
in Kofu Harbour, being depth charged from all sides and mines here, there and everywhere. And
327
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:39,120
father at the age of 21, and before he was a commander, was simply having to underwater with all his
328
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:45,360
going on around him, work out how the hell to get out of there rather than just throwing up his
329
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:51,680
hands and saying, I don't know what we're going to do, we're all going to die. So, as well as having
330
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:58,640
confidence to have the nose to find ways of using that confidence, to get out of some of the fixes
331
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:05,920
that you may find yourself in, that initially seem insoluble. Absolutely. Can you imagine with
332
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:12,400
charts at that time as well? Absolutely. It's nascent technology still. I know we had some,
333
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:20,240
some are in sort of rudimentary ones. Even in the first world war, before anything else happened,
334
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:26,480
I think that's what everything started. That's what you're going to say, yes. Yeah, exactly.
335
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:33,680
So, it's about confidence, it's about thinking perhaps that, or not really seeing the pitfalls,
336
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:37,680
but knowing that there is something that needs to be solved, a problem needs to be solved.
337
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:44,480
And just sort of happening. I think that also with your grandfather perhaps, it was a time,
338
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:50,720
wasn't it, there was a certain time there where Britain was really up, that going for it, there
339
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:57,920
were lots and lots of movement across the globe. And the Habsett was just, I keep saying just as well.
340
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:06,640
Perhaps it was just something that one would do at that time, even though not many people would do it.
341
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:12,880
But clearly it felt like that to your grandfather. And again, with your father,
342
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:19,840
the same kind of thing, your success is differently. You've got commercial success and all of that.
343
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:25,200
But as you say, in peacetime, because you haven't had to, I haven't had to, my children,
344
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,720
your children, we haven't had to deal with that from our point of view. Right.
345
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:33,520
In terms of really finding out what you're made of, I think is what it's about.
346
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:39,520
That's right. Yes, we are. They're like your generation. I am certainly, I mean, I'm a generation.
347
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:46,560
I heard of you. Exactly. Okay. So my final question, unfortunately, is,
348
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,360
is after completing this book, do you feel that there are more stories that you'd like to tell?
349
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:58,400
Well, certain amount of pressure has been put on me to write a book about myself,
350
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:05,200
which I'm resisting because, as you've already gathered by comparison with my father and
351
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:10,800
grandfather, I don't think it's anywhere near that interesting other than for some of the quite
352
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:17,680
complex issues I've had to deal with major corporate episodes and adventures.
353
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:25,920
So it's going to take, it's probably taken another lockdown, God forbid, to encourage me to devote
354
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:34,240
enough time to do that. Sorry, this is very personal not really to do with the book, but in a sense,
355
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:42,880
perhaps it makes a point that's interesting. I am very fortunate at my age, which is 81
356
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:51,200
incidentally, to be fit and therefore able still to make a contribution. So I do quite a lot of
357
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:56,320
charitable work, you know, I volunteer in a hospital, I'm chairman of an organization
358
00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:04,160
that looks after people with brain damage. And that gives me some sort of satisfaction.
359
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:11,280
And I feel that I should just keep going in the way that really both my father and my grandfather
360
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:18,400
did. They didn't settle down and put their feet up. Even my grandfather so disabled, just kept going
361
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:25,280
until the end as did my father, although the end came somewhat prematurely understandably at his
362
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:32,640
own wish. Of course, but I think that's exactly what I'd like to do as well. Just continue,
363
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:40,320
and so you're helping people at the same time as helping yourself, they're benefiting from your
364
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:48,160
experience. Absolutely, no, it's fantastic. He keeps me up the streets. Which I think you need at 81
365
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:57,120
years old, because you're on the streets at 81. So exactly right. No, well, you wouldn't know your
366
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:04,400
81, I've got to say, but cheap compliments are easy to give. It's nice, it's nice even so.
367
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:10,000
Well, there we are. Well, so Tim, Melville, Ross, thank you very much for joining us and talking to us
368
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:18,800
about tough choices. The book that actually really does fascinate me and charts generations of
369
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:25,200
your family history and the daring do that they got up to. Which good work you, you know, I think
370
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:32,080
that's it, isn't it? Absolutely. Well, it's been a pleasure. So everybody, make sure that you search
371
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:37,440
out tough choices on Amazon and other book groups that are retailers as well. And let's say Tim know
372
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:43,520
about the questions or comments you've got in the comments down below. Get in touch via those comments
373
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:49,520
and we'll go from there and I'm sure Tim will be quite happy to answer those. So yeah, brilliant.
374
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:56,800
Well, I hope that I meet you again soon. You too. Thank you very much for making all this so easy.
375
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:05,040
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being interesting. Until next time, thanks very much. This is
376
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:10,800
Chris Dabs, Satim Melville, Ross and author conversations about tough choices. Take care. Bye-bye.
377
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,800
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.







